Adventures In Baby um... Having

It's that time again...

2011-11-29T19:21:00.001-08:00

Two Reindeer Christmas

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Home and DC

2011-11-22T21:18:00.000-08:00

I said that I was back, and then sort of disappeared again. :/ My single-mommy-hood went well, though it was short-lived. I had my first odd comment about Asian babies experience, and I suppose it was overdue. I was at Wh.ole Foods, and it went something like this:

Lady: Where are they from?

Me: Here.

Lady: Well, I know they’re from here, but where are they from?

Me: Um, really, they’re from here.

Lady: But where did you get them?

Me: Um, well, yeah they’re Chinese…

Lady: Yeah, I knew they were something…

Me: …but they’re American. I mean, they were born here. My partner gave birth to them.

Lady: Oh, your partner. I thought maybe you went to get them somewhere.

Sigh. I guess that wasn’t too bad, but really, I had this conversation at Who.le Foods?? Surprising.

Anyway, the weekend was fine. I find that workdays are actually much harder than weekends without a partner (showering, hair-drying, ready-ing and getting the kiddos clean diapers and breakfast and staying out of trouble). Weekends are cake b/c I can shower when they’re napping. Note to self: traveling on weekdays must be harder for V than when I’m gone over weekends.

Fortunately, I only had one work-day alone. V’s conference was in DC, so only a couple of hours away, and some of her friends and colleagues from other parts of the country wanted to meet the kiddos. So Monday after work the kids got dinner, a bath, and pjs and we hit the road for DC (I left at their bedtime so they slept the whole way down). We stayed through the end of the conference on Wednesday and all came home together. The kiddos loved the hotel room – so much stuff to get into! And carpet! [we’re all hardwood at home]

I will say it was good practice for Paris. First, I had never realized how many of the restaurants in Du.pont Circle are in basements (too many steps with a stroller), how usually a crowded restaurant is a good sign, but not so much with hungry twins, and how we need to leave plenty to time to find a restaurant that has high chairs. Duly noted.

We also found some time for the Smiths.onian Air and S.pace Museum. I figured they wouldn’t get much out of it, being so small, but they actually had a blast. They loved looking at the rockets they were totally enthralled with a presentation about the Wright brothers and flight. Go fig. Also, they have this ceiling fan in their room with rockets and the earth on it, and the pull chains have stars on the end. We always pick them by the pull chains and say, “reach for the stars!” and they reach up and laugh. So at the museum, they kept seeing rockets and stuff hanging from the ceiling and they both kept reaching their hand up and saying, “stars!”. And they’re still doing it. It has to be my favorite trick yet! Super cute.

Anyway, two workdays away from the office (on top of traveling so much in the last month) during my busiest time of the year did not serve me well. I’ve put in a couple of til-midnighters, and I’m still here at the office at 12:15. yuck. I’m going to post this and get out of here.

Happy Thanksgiving, all, if I don’t get to post again before then. Btw, speaking of the holiday, I think I was wrong about how much V’s mom has changed. Sigh. I don’t know all the details, but it looks like I was giving her too much credit. We’ll see.

:)

2011-11-10T19:45:00.000-08:00

Hello there, ladies! So. I have been busy. I have tried hard to keep up with everyone as much as possible, even without having the opportunity to post myself. And everytime I log in, I feel like such an enormous dbag for disappearing, after everyone was so supportive, I was almost too embarrassed to post. But after a couple of hints, from a couple of bloggers, I decided that I had to make time (especially since the first thing on the page for the last however many months is my bloody leg, which is healed, btw, but there's nasty scar).

Anyway, things are amazing with us, just busy. I have been on the road so much lately for work. V calculated it and the last 30 days, I was away... I don't remember the exact number but it was around 20 days, including some weekends. Poor V, having the kiddos to herself. But! I'm home tomorrow, and this is my last trip of the year, I'm happy to say (aside from holiday travel). I will be getting my comeuppance for all the time away, as V leaves for a conference Saturday, gone for 5 days. So I will get a taste of short-term single motherhood!

All the travel is not going to waste, however. I'm racking up the miles quickly, and just cashed in a chunk to take us all over to Paris for 10 days next spring. We're going to be there for our 15th anniversary (which actually wasn't intended, and it was part way thru the planning that we realized the date, but still, it will be a nice way to spend the day!). We thought about booking an open jaw ticket home-->Paris, Rome-->home (with a cheap jaunt from Paris to Rome somewhere in between). But, we thought that that might be a bit much for two 18 month olds (not to mention the moms in charge of them), so instead, we're just going to take Paris slowly. Should be a nice change of pace (I hope!).

So, what else is new? The Stinkers turned one, somehow, which is hard to believe. I know I'm preaching to the choir for the most part, and this is such a tired cliche, but really, where does the time go?? I feel like I barely remember them being tiny, and not even rolling over, let alone before they were walking. They were taking several steps in a row before their birthday, and a couple of weeks after, they were off. They're great eaters, which is great for us, and good drinkers. We transitioned them off the bottle very easily right around their birthday. It took a day or maybe two when they wanted the bottle and that was that, and I'm glad we've broken that habit (I don't know for sure, but I imagine it would've been much harder if they were older).

V's mom, my arch nemesis, is not so much my arch nemesis these days. I won't say she's done a 180, but let's say she's done a 175 (which is about 174 degrees further than I ever expected). She doesn't see the kids as often as I would expect, given that she's an hour and a half away (okay, three hours if there is traffic). But c'est la vie. We're welcome there, she pushes the beds together to make one big bed that we sleep in together (it's a long story, but take my word that that is a huge deal), she's polite. We're not exactly bff but we can tolerate each other, and it's a big change.

So life is good. In fact, life is incredible. I can't believe how much the stinkers melt my heart every day. They are so giggly and snuggable and sweet. Being away from them is hard, but Facet.ime helps, and coming home to big hugs helps, too. Otherwise, V is quite busy with work, as well. She's gotten her lab up and running, and she's always working on a lot of different projects. I lose track of when she gets new journal articles published, and when she's writing grants or whatever it is she's doing at any given time, but she's doing really well.

Okay, I will try to be a better updater! For now, a couple of pics and video:

In their room before bed, El blowing me a kiss (I was away on a trip, so this kiss came by text)

This boy loves to lean on things!

My boy loves the slide

E & V at an arts fest (a couple of months ago)

Ouch

2011-06-04T05:58:00.001-07:00

I plan to catch up on the nonchallenge soon, but here has been my last 24 hours. I went out running yesterday and a woman's dog (one of three she had and none were on a leash) sunk its teeth into my leg. And, stupidly, I didn't get her name or contact info (she was apologetic but took off like a bat out of hell). Sigh.

The beginning of the end

2011-06-02T07:51:00.001-07:00

Of BFing, that is. But let me back up. We were out of town for a conference for V, and then we visited my parents and sister for a few days. It was really a great, great trip overall. Except the part where we had a 9:30pm flight (mistake, but it was the only direct flight, and we figured that was better than making the whole trip hours longer and getting in late also). Also, the flight was delayed, of course, meaning we didn’t take off til after 10:30 and we weren’t settled into our hotel room until after 1:30am. The stinkers were tired and a little fussy the next day, but overall they seemed to manage. Still, note to self: no more late flights.

Also, on the flight back, they wouldn’t let us sit in the same row b/c evidently there are only three oxygen masks in the row of two seats, so V had to move to another row with one of the stinkers. Anyone else ever have that issue? It wasn’t a problem on the way down (also a row of two seats). If this is something they enforce often, we’ll probably get aisle seats next to one another on the next flight so presumably we won’t have that issue. Puffer??

Anyway, V’s nips have been an absolute wreck for weeks now. Like probably 6 weeks, I’m thinking. And she’ll get shooting pains throughout her bb, and she says it feel like branding irons on her nips. Her nips have blisters on them, and scabs, she’s been in so much pain and nothing seems to help. I don’t know if it’s the way the stinkers latch on, or the position she uses to feed them (double football), or just the fact that her poor bbs never get a break, since there’s a baby on each one at each feeding, but the last several weeks have been very hard on her. While we were out of town, she started getting the tell-tale signs of mastitis yet again. And on the Sunday morning of the trip she could not get a doctor on the phone. The OB’s office has only one on-call person, and that person was evidently in a delivery for several hours that morning, meaning she couldn’t take any calls. Meaning that V couldn’t get the prescription called in. So she sat there for hours just getting worse and worse. We have a friend who is a dr but he and his wife (V’s bff) have a brand new baby, and she didn’t want to bother him b/c he was sleeping. I was texting with the wife, who was just going to wake him up, when the OBs office finally called back.

Anyway, that was enough for her, and while she feels guilty for weaning them, I think it’s the right move. She has worked so hard to nurse them and pump (and pump and pump) and had so many issues, and I think she’s done an amazing job. I’m glad they got 8 months of breast milk, and it will be more before she’s totally done, but she’s cut back since the mastitis (this was all last weekend) and already her bbs feel much better. Also, she’s looking forward to her bbs being a reasonable size again and starting to run again (no idea yet how we’re both going to fit runs into the day if we have to do them separately. There may be a jogging stroller or two in our future).

I wondered how she would wean, and nature has pretty much taken care of it. Since last weekend, she hasn’t had any need to pump during the day. She feeds them in the morning, which is something enough for them and sometimes not (so they’ll get a banana or pears or something after). Most night she had fed them, at least some, and some nights not. The last two months, they stinkers mostly got one solid food in the evening. So we’re starting to transition to more solids and less breast milk. So that’s that.

Sorry I’m behind with everyone. I’ve been out of town for work and will have more of that coming up soon. I’m trying to catch my breath and catch up with everyone!

Below is a photo of the babes doing some shopping over the wknd (Vin is very tired):

Playin' hooky

2011-04-27T17:17:00.000-07:00

It was waaay too nice to go to work yesterday, so we took an impromptu trip to the beach. We drove down to Oce.an City, NJ and walked on the boardwalk and laid on the beach.

Little V loved playing in the sand!

Two babies smiling (not sure if that's really a smile on her face, or a smirk of some sort?)

Mommy and Little V

oy

2011-04-20T06:02:00.000-07:00

We’re trying (again) to get over to ny so the kiddos can meet V’s grandmother, so V started calling her grandmother, uncle, brother, and mom to see if everyone is available this weekend. And everyone is, except her mom. Because it’s a holiday, and it’s not a good time to see her daughter and/ or grandkids. (You may remember she pulled the same BS on Thanksgiving). So while it’s sort of changed, really, nothing has changed.

I say: eff her, let’s go this wknd. If she’s too busy to see us, we’re too busy to see her. V disagrees, so we’ll likely go next wknd. God, I really don’t like that woman.

But, I got a cute picture of V and V when we were at lunch!

Ellie was asleep, so here is a video of her being loud this wknd (whenever I try to get something on video, she never does it the way she had been doing it just before we get the camera. So we call her Michigan J Frog, for those of you who remember the cartoon). It's from my camera, hence the crappy quality.

No more storage fees!

2011-04-12T16:33:00.000-07:00

When we bought the last round of sperm, we bought six: one for the ivf and five more for my turn up to bat (baby #2). Also, it included the year of free storage, which gave us time to figure out the overall plan. Now that we have two, we're not sure if baby #3 will ever happen. If I had to guess, I'd say no, but we're not ready to give up on the idea entirely.

A few months ago, our year of free storage was up (and the donor is sold out). After spending I've-lost-track-of-how many thousands with the sperm bank, I am not eager to give them any more money for storage. Likewise, we have four frozen embryos at our dr's office that costs $800/ year to keep. In total, we'd have to pay well over $1000/ year for storage for all of that.

At some point we realized that V getting her own lab at the med school also means that she gets her own storage box in the liquid nitrogen container. Which means that we can store it all for free! After much to-do, we had the rest of the vials shipped here, she put them in her box, then used the container thing that they came in to go pick up the embryos at the dr's office. The only hiccup is that the embryos don't come in vials but in straw-like things. And they are too big to fit in the box. Instead, she has them in the -80 freezer, which may or may not be cold enough. She says they store cells there, and that's what embryos are, after all, but at the end of the day, we have no idea if they'll survive in there. But really, that's ok. We figure there's no reason to get rid of them if we can (possibly) keep them for free, and we'll probably never need them in any case (if we have another baby, it will likely be with my eggs). So, you know, que sera sera. But thank goodness we don't have to pay storage fees anymore!

It also means that in the likely event that we don't try for another baby, and therefore don't need the sperm, we can't sell it back to the sperm bank. But whatever piddling amount they would even give us would be long since spent on storage if we had kept them there. So we're essentially buying peace of mind by giving up the chance to sell it back.

In other news, we spent way too much money on summer clothes this wknd, but we had some Gymbor.ee bucks, so why not, right? (we still spent way too much there. Have you seen the prices at Gymbor.ee??) Anyway, as it happened, it was warm enough on Monday for them to wear their new stuff (even though it's all a little big). Pics below (do me a favor and ignore the butternut squash on their face, please).

Also, Ellie is evidently a Mac girl:

update

2011-04-06T11:48:00.000-07:00

leaving was hard, but i'm here and doing better than i thought i would be. the debate continues...

ps- i decided first part of last post should go away, just in case...

Decisions and questions

2011-04-03T06:27:00.000-07:00

...

Speaking of traveling, the kiddos and I are going with V to a conference next month and then we’re taking the weekend to visit my family. Should be fun. Does anyone know if airlines still give kids a set of wings on their first flight? I assume they don’t, since they don’t even give pillows anymore, but it would be cool for the kids to earn their wings.

Another travel question: I think we can take their car seats and stroller through security and then check them planeside. What do you do w/ car seat bases? Do you stow them in checked luggage??

6 month retrospective

2011-03-28T17:09:00.001-07:00

I have been meaning to sit down and update for a long time, but I could never think of anything interesting to say. I mean, we’re head over heels madly in love with these kids, but that’s not original, right? But I still have been meaning to write some things down, so here are the last six months, by topic.

Sleep – they’ve always been great sleepers, thankfully. They go down pretty easily, although EK (her initials, best pseudonym I got) started giving us a little bit of a hard time a couple of weeks ago. She needed another story read, and another song (or two or three) sung to her before finally going down quietly. She’s been a bit better recently, though.

We try to get them down by 8:30, but it depends on how many naps they’ve had in the day (and how long they were). V wakes them up at 6:30 to eat and for awhile they were both going back down for a nap before I left for work at 8. Then only Little V would nap. Now they’re both usually awake when the sitter gets over at 8. The one issue we’ve had in the last month or so is that most nights one or both of them will get upset that s/he lost the binky, so one of us has to get up and put it back in. I could definitely do without that.

Babysitting – is working out really well. Our friend comes over w/ her daughter and omg that was the best decision ever. I can’t imagine getting the kiddos up and dressed and getting their stuff together and out the door and to daycare by 8. V is home Tuesdays, I’m home Fridays, so that cuts down on cost a bit, which is nice, and we spend more time w/ them.

Food – despite copious amounts of fenugreek and dark beer (ok, maybe not copious amounts of the beer), V still isn’t making enough milk for the kiddos. They nurse in the AM (no supplement), V pumps one to two times in the day and gets maybe 3-5 oz per side total, they nurse when she gets home (usually no supplement), and again before bed (supplement). While we’re at work they usually get two bottles, which is a couple of oz from V and the rest formula. So they get a few bottles of mostly formula every day. It’s not ideal but it’s okay.

They started eating solid food a week or so ago. First bananas (EK loooved it), then rice cereal (Little V is a big fan), then peas (Little V loves it, EK would rather have her bananas back). I’ve been making their food and it’s actually a lot of fun! V’s mom bought us some hoity toity baby food maker, and I actually really like using it. It’s not nearly as much of a chore as I thought it would be, and I like that I can control what’s in there (and more importantly, what’s not in there). I have lots of things stored in the freezer for when they get to it (apples, yams, broccoli, pears, etc).

Also, little V has a tooth! It’s been coming in for about a week or so, and for the most part he hasn’t seemed to notice, but once he seemed like it was bothering him, poor guy.

Adoption – the discussion of feeding leads me naturally into the adoption. I adopted them January 26, and the adoption itself was fine. There wasn’t pomp and circumstance or anything, b/c the whole thing was maybe 90 seconds. Maybe it was two minutes. Either way, we were ushered in and out very quickly. But I guess the important thing is that it’s done. The reason why I automatically think of feeding is b/c that day V was very quickly coming down with a terrible case of mastitis. She was ghost white, shaking, and I think she even ran to the ladies’ room to vomit. So rather than going for a celebratory lunch, we spent the afternoon at the dr’s office. That part of the day wasn’t great, but it explains why we don’t have pics of us all together. Instead, I took a photo of the stinkers in their court outfits. We looked all over for a big boy (not clip-on) tie, and they were awfully cute that day.

Family – that leads me into thinking of family. Some of my family has been up, and some of V’s family has been over from ny, but we haven’t yet made it over there. We really want to take the kiddos to meet V’s grandmother, and we have had tentative plans to meet up with some super cool bloggers, but something always seems to come up (in order, as best I remember: mastitis, snow storm, snow storm, mastitis, I was sick, babies were sick, V’s grandmother was sick). We’re still hoping to get over there soon, and meeting the bloggers and kiddos while we’re at it.

And finally, we’re doing a mommy n me swim class. Not that we necessarily think they’ll learn to swim, but they love the bath so much that we thought they would like swimming. EK took to it like a duck to water; Little V is a little more hesitant so far. We’ve only been twice, so we’ll see if he warms up to it. This wknd I got photos of them in the locker room:

So that’s that. They seem to go back and forth about different things. Like, Little V will be the chatty one, then it will be EK. Actually, I should post a link to a video we have on youtube of EK finding her voice (that is, screaming). It was a cute – if loud – phase, although she’s mostly beyond that now.

This is so fun – I can’t believe we waited so long to get started!

One year later

2011-03-17T19:49:00.001-07:00

Last St. Patty’s day, V was nearly two months pregnant, and we walked to an Irish pub for dinner. On the way, she started spotting. Then bleeding. Then gushing. Like, through a pad, her underwear, and pants every couple of hours. We were convinced that we had lost at least one baby, and we had a sleepless night w/ V sobbing. All was fine, as it turned out, and we later learned it was Vince who caused the bleeding and nearly gave us a heart attack, the little shit. :) So tonight, a year later, we thought it was apropos that we walk over to the pub with two healthy, happy babies. We are so grateful.

We’ve been busy, but I’ve tried to stay up to date with you all as much as I can. I’ve been meaning to post an update, but haven’t gotten the chance. Also, like the ladies at Bao, I’ve been trying to comment as much as possible before updating myself, since that only seems fair.

I’ll try to do a better update asap, but in the meantime, in the spirit of where-does-the-time-go, I’m adding a pic from a couple of weeks ago, right around the 5 month mark.

Ornament and update

2011-01-06T09:29:00.000-08:00

I’m so far behind but I want to be sure I post a pic of the amazing ornament we got! It came a little after Christmas, but it was well worth the wait! We just love it – thanks, ladies! Really, I can’t think of anything more perfect. The photo, of course, doesn’t do it justice. I couldn’t get a good photo on the tree, and this one isn’t much better. But, it's just beautiful in person.

V went back to work this week, which has been so much harder for both of us than expected. No tears or anything, but it sucks. My mom flew into town early this week to visit and babysit for a couple of weeks. Then we’ll turn it over to the babysitter, who is a friend w/ a newborn of her own (a couple of months older than the stinkers). Quick aside: we met this friend and her partner in Jan 2009. We were at the hospital waiting room when V was having polyps removed, and we noticed them, they noticed us, and when V and the partner were both back having procedures, the other partner started chatting w/ me. We exchanged email, and they became our first (and now that I think about it, only) lesbi@n friends in P.hilly. Anyway, the partner will babysit three days/ week (V and I each work from home one day). It's still very expensive (two babies and it had to be worth her time), but slightly better than daycare.

The good news (and I almost hate to write this b/c I know how lucky we are) is that the babies started sleeping thru the night several weeks ago. They have what V calls the feeding frenzy in the evening, where they’re on the b00b almost the entire evening, then they go down at 9:30 or 10 and sleep til 6 or 6:30 the next morning. It works really well b/c V can get up, shower, then get the babies and feed them before work. In the past several weeks, we’ve even had to wake up e for breakfast sometimes, b/c she’ll occasionally sleep 10 hours. I can recall three times where she slept from 10pm til 8am, and then I got her up for breakfast.

So we’re cruising along in our transition period. I’m starting to plan my business trips for the year, and looking forward to when the babies can come along. V has to go to Cali this Dec, and I’m really tempted to go and take the babies, but I’m not sure how much they’ll get out of it at just over 1 year. Next year, she has a conference in New Orleans and the babies and I are definitely going to tag along for that one.

Anyway, I’m reading when I can, and cheering everyone on!

Finally got two babies smiling in one picture

2010-12-25T06:18:00.000-08:00

Congrats to these ladies! Speedytot is here!

Also, finally, I got a picture of two babies smiling at the same time!

Photos are in

2010-12-06T19:07:00.001-08:00

These are the photos from their two week old photo shoot -

Babies sleeping:

V calls the picture above "the calm" and this one "the storm":

Litte V yawn:

Little E yawn:

Babies and me:

V and babies:

Me kissing Ellie:

Big V kissing Little V (I think this may be my favorite):

Little V bottle:

Little E bottle:

This was the last photo she took. We didn't even know she was taking it until the end. It's a nice, candid shot:

(ignore the "read more" thing, i'm trying to figure out how to get rid of it)

Holiday cards and the other side of the story

2010-12-05T18:01:00.000-08:00

Thanks for the sweet comments about our holiday cards! They turned out way more Christmasy than usual. We always make sure we buy holiday (instead of Christmas) cards b/c we also send them to our Jewish and non-Christmas-celebrating friends. This year, somehow, a cute little tiny Santa hat turned into a cute little card that has a Santa belt (hey, it matches their hats), so it turned out kinda Christmasy. We removed the Christmas references, though, so I think they'll work. Not that our friends will be offended, mind you. V's bff and her husband (Jews) dress their dog up in a Mrs. Claus outfit at Christmas (don't worry, she's got a bone that says "kosher" so she's covered). :)

Anyway, back when I was writing my version of the birth story, V clowned on me for taking so long and writing so much. Well, she just finished her version of the birth story this weekend (though of course, she's been busy) and get this - it's five pages single spaced. I want to make sure we keep it for posterity, so I've put it behind this cut. I don't expect everyone to read the whole thing, but it's there if you're interested. It's really interesting to me b/c I wouldn't let her read my version, and now reading them together, it's funny about the little details that both stuck out for us (for example, our Jersey girl nurse and her leopard print clogs).

V's side of the story
I woke up at about 3am Sunday 9/26 with a wet feeling in my underwear. I figured I had either peed in my pants or my water broke. I didn’t think I really had to pee, so I figured it was the latter. I said Cindy’s name and she woke up immediately. When I was feeling contractions in the middle of the night, I didn’t wake her up but this felt a lot different, and so I didn’t hesitate at all to get her up. We both weren’t completely sure if my water broke, so I went to the bathroom. My underwear was soaked and fluid just kind of periodically gushed out. A bit gross in the details, I’m sure, but there you have it. I called my OB’s office, spoke to the after hours receptionist who promised a call back from the attending OB within 15 minutes. This was the perfect time for Cindy to start frantically packing a bag, of course. And of course, while I’m gushing what feels like gallons of amniotic fluid, we didn’t have any pads. I hadn’t had a period if forever, so I had no idea what our pad status was, but it was virtually non-existent. So Cindy had to scrounge around and she eventually found a couple in one of our suitcases. These are things I wished that we thought about ahead of time, but that would have required planning, which we clearly didn’t do. Anyway, after Cindy ran around like a chicken without a head, we finally had a bag packed. Of course, I made sure that my normal, non-maternity jeans were in there as well as a shirt that I hadn’t worn in months. I figured that I’d surely be able to fit into them as soon as I popped 2 babies out. But I’ll come back to that later. Anyway, 30 minutes have passed and still no phone call, so I call back. I get a call back right away this time, and am told that I needed to get to the hospital right away.

We get in the car and I told Cindy that I should probably get something to eat. When I had those mild contractions in the middle of the night several weeks ago (I’m assuming that is what they were), I spoke with the on-call OB the following morning. He sounded completely worthless and basically told me that if my water broke, I should rush to the hospital, but that I should also factor in traffic patterns (depending on the time of day). Brilliant. Anyway, he also mentioned to get some food on the way to the hospital because once I was admitted, I wouldn’t be allowed to eat food. So I figured, sure it’s 4AM, but there’s a 24-hour convenience store on the way that has decent sandwiches. Well, who knew that they didn’t serve sandwiches then??? It’s the first time we’ve been let down by our friendly, neighborhood Wawa. And of course, now I’m starting to get hungry and wished that I had eaten something at home. Hindsight… I’m feeling contractions every 3-4 minutes or so, but they’re not that painful. In the car, Cindy says something about them stopping the contractions or stopping me from leaking amniotic fluid and us coming home that day. I looked at her and said something along the lines of, “What the f… is wrong with you??? I’m 36+ weeks and in labor! ” She was completely in denial.

We get to the hospital. Cindy parks the car right outside for now, and I’m waiting for her. This is nothing like how things are on TV with me screaming that I’m in labor, etc. Anyway, I didn’t realize the doors to the hospital are locked after hours. This woman comes up, rings the bell, and the security guard comes out. She wants directions, and he starts telling her where she needs to go. The second guard doesn’t pay me any attention, so I stand there thinking what the hell are we waiting for? We walk right past the security guard and are already in the hospital when he asks us where we’re going. Then he sees my belly and says to go ahead. Nice, tight security.

Thankfully, Cindy remembers what floor we needed to go to, and we head up the elevator for the PETU. We ring the bell, get buzzed in, and I tell them that I think my water broke. They ask how the contractions are pain wise and how frequent they are. I tell them, and they tell me what room to go to. It’s great, there’s no one else in the room. I pee in the cup, change into the gown, and hop on the bed. The nurse straps the fetal monitors and contraction monitor to me and starts an IV. The IV is a bit uncomfortable, definitely more uncomfortable than when I had the IV for either of my 1 polypectomies. I mention this to her, but she says that they’re normally slightly uncomfortable. I figure she knows what she’s talking about and settle in watching Suze Orman on TV. About 5 minutes later, Cindy takes a look at my arm and says Holy shit. It’s all swollen where the IV is. The nurse comes in to take a look at it and it’s clear that she was not in the vein. She takes the IV out and puts it in the other arm. That one felt much better (as in I felt virtually nothing), and didn’t swell. I think this nurse was a bit tired. One of the residents comes in to check on me. She swabs me to make sure what I’m leaking is amniotic fluid. Apparently, the swab turns blue if it is. It was super blue. She also told me that I was 4cm dilated. What what what?! How is that possible when I just started having contractions, and I wasn’t dilated at all that Thursday when I had my regular OB appointment. Craziness. Not that I can complain. Also, she looked at how the two stinkers were positioned with an ultrasound. Lately, they have both been head down, but Vince had a tendency to flip, even when I was sure that there was more room for any of that business. She found that they were still head down. Sweet! Anyway, it was official! We were going to have us some babies! They start the ball rolling to get me moved over to L&D. Since my OB had said that a vaginal delivery for both twins was highly dependent upon who was on call and his/her comfort level, we asked the resident who was on call and if that person was likely to deliver vaginally, especially since both were head down. She said that the one who was on call would definitely, but his shift was over shortly. So we asked about the one who was coming on. She said, “Josh would do it. But don’t tell him I called him Josh.” Great news. And note to self, call him Josh.

We head on down the hall to L&D probably around 6 or 6:30. The nice thing about the room was that there was both a couch and a rocking chair for Cindy and a TV where the speaker wasn’t in the remote. That meant we could both hear the TV well. That shouldn’t be that big a deal, but in retrospect, it was huge considering how long we were in that room. We meet my L&D nurse, Michelle, who was a total Jersey girl complete with the leopard print clogs. She was great, and she has a set of twins herself. She knew I was 4cm dilated and said that she thought I’d deliver before lunch. That was a jinx. I believed her then because I had already progressed so quickly, but I should have known better. Anyway, Josh (we’re now calling him Double J) comes in a little while later and we have a chat about what I was thinking, how I felt about the epidural, etc. I told him that I would prefer to have a vaginal delivery, if possible. Obviously, if a c-section needed to be done, I would have been fine with that. Anyway, he said that he was very comfortable delivering twins vaginally. He also talked about having to turn babies sometimes because even though they both start off vertex, the second one can turn. He asked how that sounded, and I said that it sounded absolutely horrific. But that’s why we were going with an epidural! Yay, drugs!

Anyway, after that, it was just a long day for a while. The resident would come in every couple of hours to see if I dilated any more, which I hadn’t. After making it to 4cm really quickly, I totally stalled out. At about 11AM or so, I was started on pitocin. The contractions got a little stronger, but nothing crazy. More cervical checks and slowly I made it to 5cm. But that took a looong time. I can’t even remember when that was. And that was with regular increases in my pitocin dose. Thankfully, it was a Sunday so there was a lot of football on. It’s made for a lot less of having to flip through the channels. Of course, I watched the Giants lose… Cindy went out several times to get food, of which I was completely jealous. She did sneak me a few bites of a soft pretzel, thank god. I was starving. I was able to drink, which was nice, but I really could have used more food. Why wasn’t that Wawa selling sandwiches? But I digress. When she came back from one of her little jaunts outside, Cindy came into the room all excited. She said that she saw a lesbian nurse in the hallway. Maybe 5 minutes later, said lesbian nurse comes into our room. She’s our new L&D nurse, since Michelle’s shift was over. I forgot to mention that Michelle came in close to the end of her 12 hour shift and said that she was sad that she didn’t get to see the twins. I told her that the way it was looking, I could still be in labor when she started her next shift the following day. She said there was no way I would still be there. Of course, she was the one who said that I was delivering before lunch. Anyway, the new nurse, Shawn comes in and introduces herself. She suggested that I get to moving around a bit. I was reluctant to really move around other than to go to the bathroom because I was strapped to the monitors and had that IV in. But Shawn was thinking that the girl’s head may have been turned a bit and wasn’t dropping into the pelvis to really put pressure on my cervix. She also increased my pitocin again to past 20, which is the normal max dose. She had to get a doctor’s approval for this, but they started me up from 20 to 40. That’s right, 40! Twice the normal max dose. And within 15 or so minutes of standing up and moving around a bit and the ramped up pitocin, I was starting to really feel the contractions. The pain came on so quickly, it was ridiculous. When the contraction ramped up, I really felt like I had to poo. The nurse came in and I told her that I was interested in the epidural. She said that she would get the anesthesiologist. In the mean time, I kept contracting big time and I was afraid that I was going to poo, so I went into the bathroom and just sat on the toilet. As the contraction came and went, I just kept thinking that the pain was off the charts and that I hoped that I wouldn’t have a baby plop into the toilet, like on that TV show I Didn’t Realize I Was Pregnant (which is so unbelieveable to me). Anyway, I just remember shaking when each wave of contractions kicked up again, which was every minute or so, or at least it seemed that way. They definitely were pretty close together. A little while later, Shawn and the anesthesiologist came in for my epidural. Hooray, drugs! I went over to the bed and the anesthesiologist was beginning to start the epidural. A contraction started, I told him, he waited until it was about over, gave me the epidural, and fairly quickly, the contractions were bearable. Before I knew it, I wasn’t feeling any pain, even though Shawn said the contractions were pretty hefty. She put a catheter in me since I was now no longer allowed to get up to go to the bathroom. She said that I had a really great epidural because I didn’t feel anything, not when she put something cold on me, not when she treaded the catheter. Sounds great to me! I managed to get a little nap in, and I watched the Yankees/Red Sox game. The game was pretty close, I don’t remember the score, but the game was in the very late innings when it was decided by the powers-that-be that I was ready to go because Shawn and then the resident felt a head on the last examination. So of course, I didn’t get to see the end of what sounded like (when I saw the highlights later on) a very exciting finish. Oh, the sacrifices already… I get wheeled into the OR. Now, I don’t know what exactly I had pictured the room where I would give birth to look like, but it wasn’t the room I wound up in, that’s for sure. The room was a bit dark except for the light that was right over my gurney. There were all sorts of people in there, from Double J to Shawn to the residents to the neonatologist. And I’m not sure who was in the adjacent room where they were weighed. Anyway, we were thinking that because they started prepping the OR for me around 11 or so, Baby A may be born on a different day than Baby B. But by the time I got wheeled in, etc., it was already pretty close to midnight. It would have been cool, though. My feet were placed in the stirrups, and I was told to start pushing. I think it was not too long after midnight when this started. One of my biggest concerns was would I even know how to push. And initially, I don’t think I was very good at it. I was told when the contractions were coming and that I should start pushing, but I could sense when Double J kept asking me to push harder that I didn’t quite have the hang of it. I would push about 3-4 times per contraction, get a breather, and then start all over again with the next contraction. I also wondered if I’d be one of those screamers/cursers. I was told to curse if I wanted. I totally would have done it had I wanted to, even if Shawn hadn’t said that they’d heard it all before. But when push-came-to-shove, no pun intended, the only way I could really push was to clench my face and be completely silent. During the pushes, I remember Shawn and Cindy giving words of encouragement. But given the circumstances, they almost went in one ear and out the other. Because I wasn’t pushing exactly how Double J would have liked, the epidural was decreased a bit so that I could feel things a little better. I started to feel like I had to poop and that I needed to push. Apparently that was a good sign. So I pushed when I felt like it, and Baby A kept getting closer and closer. When she started crowning, they said that I could reach down and touch her head. Now I had seen this on TV, and it always seemed to be a very emotional moment, but when I put my hand down there, all I could think of was how swollen my labia felt. I felt the head and the hair, and that was very cool, but in the moment, it almost seemed like it was secondary. It was very weird. Anyway, I kept pushing and pushing, and it eventually started feeling like I had get out the largest shit of my life and I really felt like I needed to push. Double J said that I needed a few more really hard pushes, and before you knew it, a wave of relief came as the head and everything else came out. I felt a gush, heard a cry, briefly saw them cut the cord, and she was whisked away to the adjacent room. That whole process took a little under an hour. Now it was time for Baby B. Another ultrasound revealed that the little stinker, who was head down, had completely flipped in his new, freer digs, and was breech. I think it was Shawn who said, “Oh shit!” But Double J, the man, said, “Don’t worry, I got this”. He reached in (thank god for the epidural), pulled, asked me to push hard, and before you knew it, Baby B was born. It was much faster and, I have to say, much easier than doing all of the work yourself. Breech deliveries - two thumbs up! Anyway, Baby B came out but he was all blue and there was no crying. He was rushed into the other room. I kept looking over there to see what was going on because I was pretty worried, but then I heard another set of lungs crying. I asked if that was him, and it was. Whew! At this point, everything seems like a blur. I remember looking at the clock. Someone was pressing down on my belly to help me deliver the placenta. Double J was reaching in to make sure everything was out. That definitely wasn’t the most pleasant feeling in the world. And then they had to stitch me up. I asked how bad the tear was. I didn’t even realize that I had torn until I was told that they were going to stitch. Double J said that it was your everyday, run-of-the-mill second degree tear that you’d get delivering just one. He said that like it was a good thing. Of course, while I appreciate that it wasn’t worse, a second degree tear didn’t sound fun. And the suturing definitely wasn’t. Now remember that they had decreased my epidural. I definitely was feeling something down there with each stitch. I said that it was hurting, they remembered about the epidural. I asked if it could be increased. I just gave birth to 2 babies, and this was probably worse than all of that other stuff. They increased the epidural, although you’d never know. They also injected lidocaine to help with the numbing. Now I didn’t feel the injection at all. But after that, I could still feel the suturing. Ugh. I can’t even imagine how bad that would have been without any of the drugs. While I was being stitched back together, the babies were brought in for me to see. Cindy had one, I think, and they put the other on me. I can’t remember which one I held, though. After the resident was finally done, I asked how many stitches I got. She said that she used a running stitch so she couldn’t really say. We got a bunch of congratulations and then I was wheeled into the recovery room. Cindy called the grandmothers. I can’t remember when Shawn brought me food, but I finally got to eat. I scarfed down that sandwich like it was the most delicious thing, even though it really wasn’t. My first meal in over a day! Anyway, I don’t remember if the babies were placed on my chest to nurse for the first time before or after I ate. But TBD (we called our girl TBD for the first two days until we decided on her name) clamped down on my nipple and was a little Hoover – ouch! Vince wasn’t too interested in the boob. They were on for a little bit, and then they were taken to get cleaned up. Shawn delivered the good news that I got the last single room – yay! – and then I was wheeled into there. The nurse there gave me the whole spiel about how to care for my massacred girl parts and that I should call her the first time I needed to go to the bathroom. Honestly, it was definitely sore down there, but it was also nice to be able to be mobile without the basketball feeling. It was very weird to look at where a huge belly was just hours before. But I was amazed that it was still as large as it was. I guess that I didn’t take into account that I was swollen quite a bit for quite a bit of time. A couple of hours later, I think, the babies were brought into the room and our family was together.

Holiday cards 2010

2010-12-03T14:21:00.001-08:00

Santa's Belt Christmas

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$$

2010-11-29T10:47:00.000-08:00

That title has two meanings. First, has anyone done any research on 529s? We live in one of the states where we get a state tax break for investing in any 529 (not just our state’s) so we’re wide open. I keep hearing good things about Utah’s but I kinda hate to invest anything in the state of Utah. We need to open the accounts by the end of the year, but haven’t decided which would be best.

Second, pictures. Holy hell, pictures are expensive. I grew up getting photos taken at the local JCPenny or whatever, but we decided for the babies’ first photos, we would take them to a real photographer. I quickly discovered that they pretty much refuse to tell you the prices until you’re looking at the proofs, and then it’s too late to bail. I talked to the guy who took all the family photos of J0n & K8 +8 (not that I cared that he took their picture, mind you, but he’s always at the arts festival by our house, and he does take really nice photos). I know he took their pics b/c he used to have samples of them up at his booth at the festival (funny, he doesn’t put them up anymore…I only know he took their pics b/c I remember him). Anyway, I was talking to him right after the stinkers were born, and when he saw the twins, he said, “hey, if I can take pictures of the se.xtuplets, I can take pictures of twins.” Wink, wink. I thought, really, this guy is trying to impress me with that? He’s still leaning on that crutch? Oy. Anyway, he charges $250 for the come-in-and-I’ll-show-you-the-prices session and then the photo session itself. That price was pretty much par for the course for the session itself.

Then I found a lady whose pictures we really loved, and while her photo session fee is $450, she applies all of that to buying the pictures. Sounds like a bargain, right? Also, she doesn’t take digitals, but old school film, printed on the old school nicer paper. We decided that that was the way to go. It took forever to get the proofs back (the babies were 2 weeks old when we shot the photos, and we went to view the proofs less than two weeks ago, so nearly 6 weeks). And that’s where the sticker shock came in. She sucks you in with having already paid the photo session fee (hey, you’re spending an insane amount of money, but look, it’s $450 less!), not to mention the slide show set to sentimental music. Long story short: we spent waaaaay more than I ever intended, by about double. It’s easy to rationalize, though, when you’re looking at them thinking, “they’ll never be this small again” and “hey, it’s art! It will be on our wall forever.” Ugh. My bff helped me justify the cost in my head by telling me we spent about what people spend on their wedding photos. At first, that freaked me out, but then it made me feel a little better. Since the money is spent, I may as well look at it from a positive perspective: we didn’t have a wedding, or wedding photos, so we just spent the same amount on family photos. At least, that’s what I keep trying to tell myself. Also, we managed to steer clear of some of the glitzy stuff she tried to sell (like, oh, the $3000 book with all the photos; “the photos tell a story!”).

We should get the proof set in the mail this week, and I’ll try to scan some soon.

Sigh

2010-11-22T06:31:00.000-08:00

Remember when I said that V’s mom seemed to be a new person but I didn’t trust her 100% yet? She doesn’t want us coming to ny for Thanksgiving. And she doesn’t want to come to visit us. We thought that her mom and brother would come over, and her brother thought so too, but she “doesn’t want us to have to cook.” So we’ll cater, I thought, or go to ny (both are “too stressful,” she said). V called me in tears after she got off the phone w/ her mom (to understand the significance, you first need to understand that V is the world’s most easy-going person ever, and that almost nothing upsets her). Upon reflection, she thinks that her mom – in her own effed up way – legitimately thinks she’s doing us a favor, rather than just being an ass.

I’m so torn. While I could do without being around her mother, even if she’s being nice, I want it for V’s sake. I always said that I wouldn’t let her mom eff with our kids the way she has done w/ V. Before she came over a few weeks ago, I had intended to sit her down and tell her point blank that I was going to let her do it. But she was being so nice, and it was clear that she was showing w/ her actions what she could never say in words. Now, I’m wondering if I need to sit her down sometime after all. I dunno.

V’s brother, aunt, and cousins came in from ny yesterday (if you’re counting, that two visits to her mom’s one visit). Her brother said that, when their mom says not to come to ny, V should put her foot down and say that she’s coming. V, to her credit, said no way, if she doesn’t want us there, she doesn’t want us there.

Selfishly, I’m not sorry that we’re not going to see her mom. But for V’s sake, and the babies, I wish that either she was coming over, or that we were going to ny. I feel like she’s at it again.

photo monday

2010-11-15T16:06:00.000-08:00

We sleep with our arms up!

Big V & Little V sleeping:

Halloween weekend, we met our friends and their daughter at a fall festival/ pumpkin patch/ hayride place. Their daughter loves to hug the babies:

And the stinkers had to take a picture w/ little pumpkins (clearly, they were enamored w/ them)

Yeah, I gave her a faux hawk. So sue me.

Snuggling on their blankies that were a gift from these awesome ladies! Thanks again!

We have a fluffy little chair. The babies love it!

... and so do Cat, Gabriel, and Zoe (seriously, this chair is the hottest real estate in this house these days).

BFing, the M word, and a PSA

2010-11-10T09:05:00.000-08:00

Wow, BFing twins is a lot of work. Poor V has someone (or something) attached to her boob pretty much most of the day. Here’s the schedule: BF, supplement (usually about ½ breast milk, half formula), burp, change, then pump. Somehow, that routine takes over an hour, and since they’re eating every three hours start to start, that gives her a respite of maybe an hour (sometimes less) between feedings. We are eagerly anticipating the day that they can get a full feeding from the boob. And it isn’t like she can just lay in bed w/ a baby latched on b/c she needs to sit up to let both babies latch. However, they are starting to go a little longer at night: last night they both slept 5 hours! Whoo-hoo!

About a week or so ago, V decided that she’d keep them on the boob to get a full feeding no matter how long it took. Two hours (and two very sore nipples) later, the babies weren’t full and her boobs weren’t drained, so I guess they just weren’t ready yet. She’s been toying w/ the idea of feeding them more often on just the boob, but when they’re sleeping, it seems to make sense to let them sleep. Also, she’s been working from home a lot (working on a poster that someone is going to present for her at the S0ciety for Neur0sc.ience meeting this week), so those hours between feedings have been important for her.

The last week, her right boob has been clogged a few times. It wasn’t anything that a baby and/ or the pump couldn’t get out, though. Yesterday, her boob was a little tender, she started feeling bad, and when I took her temp, it was 103.5. Yep, mastitis. It came on so quickly. The OB called in an antibiotic, and she’s feeling a little better today.

My mom has been in town for the last week and it’s been awesome. She’s absolutely in love with her new grandkids, and she’s been so helpful. She’s been making some of my favorite foods from when I was a kid, and she’s even re-covering our glider (two mismatched pieces from friends of friends, and it didn’t look very good). She was going to watch the babies last night so V and I could go have dinner, but V wasn’t feeling well. Oh well. Another time.

Oh, here’s the PSA: you know how everyone says you should check w/ your insurance company to see if they will pay for a pump? I assumed ours wouldn’t, so we bought one. And we considered renting the hospital grade one the first month (but didn’t). I was talking to the insurance company a few weeks ago, and just for shits and giggles asked if they cover a pump and it turns out that they do. They rented the hospital grade one for us. I wish we had known that from the beginning. So that’s my PSA: do call your insurance company instead of assume they don’t cover it.

One month

2010-10-25T17:35:00.000-07:00

Well, the babies are a month old, somehow. We're moving along pretty smoothly.

Perhaps the biggest news is that V's mom, a wretched, awful woman, is suddenly super-Grandma. Seriously, she has barely spoken to V for 13 years, refused to acknowledge me if she wasn't screaming about me, would not visit our house, and, well, there's a lot more that I won't go into. But, she came to stay w/ us last week, she treated us both well, referred to me as "mommy", cooked for us, and was generally so nice and so helpful. One night, when I was making a salad, she wanted me to try some cookies she bought, and put it in my mouth b/c my hands were busy. (I told V's brother that story this weekend, and his reaction: "get the hell out!"). If you're feeling cold, it's probably that hell has frozen over, I assume. We never thought we'd see the day, and yet, she's a changed woman. It's bizarre, but wonderful. She didn't apologize in words for how she's been, but she apologized w/ her actions, and V is very grateful to have her mom back.

In a related story, my mom tells me that my super homophobic sister (the one to whom I haven't spoken in about 7 years) has been showing her kids the babies' photos and telling them that the babies are their cousins. A few years ago she wouldn't acknowledge that V and I were even together, b/c she didn't believe in homosexuality (like it's the effing tooth fairy or something). Now the kids that V had are her kids' cousins. Weird.

Anyway, last week was supposed to be my last week off from work, but since V's mom was in town, I decided to go into work then and take this week off. It was a good choice. It was hard to go back to work, but not quite as bad as I had feared, probably b/c the babies were home w/ V, and also, I started working from home on Fridays last week. I can't remember if I ever posted it, but we'll both work from home one day (V when she goes back to work in January) and do childcare three days.

We're moving along. Everything revolves around their (mostly) 3-hour feeding schedule, so it's hard to get much done otherwise. But they still eat well. They still get sleepy or bored w/ the breast after 10-15 minutes, and then we supplement. V pumps after each feeding, so most of the supplement is breastmilk (though at certain times of the day, they do get a lot more formula). We're trying to figure out when they will be awake enough or have a strong enough suck to get a full feeding at the breast. That will be a big time-saver, so we're looking forward to it. They're still sleeping well, also. The nice thing is that we can put them down in their cribs awake and they'll lay quietly until they fall asleep. We try to do some awake time in the day, after each feeding, so they'll be sleepier and night, and it seems to work.

We put them in their cribs from the beginning, so they sleep there most of the time. They occasionally sleep in our bed after a daytime feeding b/c our bedroom is where V has her feeding station set up (recliner, BFing pillow, pump, bottles, vitamins, etc). They have slept in our beds w/ us at night a few times when we were unable to resist. :)

I rock them in the glider at night before bed and read them stories. Right now we're reading a book about stars. :)

So that's the haps. A lot of V's family has come in from nyc over the last couple of weeks, and it's nice that her family is pretty close. My mom flies in next week. I can't wait for her to meet the stinkers.

Finally, some pics!

V and the babies, fast asleep:

A couple of days ago, we put the babies down side by side. A few minutes later, he had somehow gotten his arm under her head and around her shoulders, and she put her head on his chest:

Birth announcement stinkers

2010-10-13T19:34:00.001-07:00

We finally got around to making and ordering the birth announcements. [Post your project on your blog & Shutterfly will send you a coupon for $25 off your next order (holiday cards, I'm thinkin...)]

Knot Twins Birth Announcement

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The story

2010-10-08T19:20:00.000-07:00

Okay, this is ludicrously long. I thought about trying to cut it back, but instead I’ll just give you the Cliff’s Notes version first, if you want to skip the long version.

Short version:
Water broke at 3, got to the hospital at 5, she was dilated to 4, but it didn’t progress all day. She had ridiculous amounts of Pit0cin that finally kicked in late Sunday night, went to the OR around midnight and she pushed for an hour til the girl was born (to V’s utter delight, she did not poo on the table). A few minutes later, the boy had turned so the OB reached in and pulled him out by the feet. He was blue and not responding, which scared the shit out of me, but he bounced back immediately.

Long version:
For the birth story, I think we have to go back to last Saturday. V has not been doing the wknd errands w/ me for awhile now, but she did on Saturday. At one point, when I had to pick up a few things (like cat litter) at the warehouse club, she sat in the office chair section while I did the shopping. I thought she looked off, I mean she just seemed more tired than normal, or I dunno, something just seemed different, and as I went off to pick up some stuff, I said, "call me if you’re in labor." And what’s funny is that she probably actually was in the first stages of labor at that point. Anyway, we did the errands and I got some of the things done that I wanted to before the stinkers arrived (just in the nick of time, it turned out), so we went to bed late on Sat (I know it was late b/c we fell asleep watching SNL). I should also say that that day, she told me she wanted to go to work on Monday to do a quick surgery, then she was supposed to interview potential lab techs on Tuesday.

At three AM on Sunday, she said my name, and even though she whispered it, it shook me awake immediately.

V: Either I just peed in the bed, or... [long pause]
Me: or your water broke?
V: uh huh
So she went to the bathroom and sure enough, she was gushing. I walked into the bathroom and started sputtering, “but, but... but you’re supposed to do surgery on Monday! You’re supposed to interview people on Tuesday!”

I think it took a while to realize that we needed to go to the hospital. I think she even called the on-call doc, but I can’t quite figure out why. I mean, what was the dr supposed to say? Don’t come to the hospital? I dunno what we were thinking. So waiting for him to call back was half hour or so, I guess. So we started throwing things together in a bag, and I loaded the car seats into the back of the car. I hadn’t done those things, of course, and it was my intention to do them Sunday. I also remember that she asked me to get some pads, and I couldn’t find any. I had intended to pack several for her when I got around to packing the bag, but I couldn’t find any in the bathroom. So I went to the hall bath, still nothing. Don’t worry, I told her, I always keep a baggie of tampons/ pads in my carry-on luggage for just-in-case scenarios when I’m on business trips. So I went to the third floor to look in my luggage, and sure enough, nothing in there. I went down to the first floor to look in my computer bag that I carry to work, nothing there. I can’t remember where I finally found one or two, but V was super pissed that we didn’t have any (and by ‘we’ I mean ‘me’ since of course I’m the only one who had been having a period). Anyway, I was like, I’m so sorry, I guess I’m running low, and she goes, “low? LOW?? You’re running LOW?!?” She was pissed but her reaction was hilarious to me.

So we finally throw some stuff together, load the car, and head to the hospital. It was a really quiet and peaceful night in Philly, and it was a nice and quiet ride. We stopped at a convenience store to get her some food since we knew they wouldn’t let her eat once she got there, but there was no food in sight. Anyway, as we drove, I was still in denial, evidently, b/c I said something like, “if you have the babies soon...” and she said, “woman, my water broke. I am in labor. What is wrong w/ you?” He he. I just couldn’t wrap my head around it.

We get to the hospital at about 5am, the security guard let us right past him, then he stopped us and demanded to know where we were going. Veronica turned and once he saw the belly, he said, “okay, go ahead”. Bizarre. At the PETU, they checked the heart rates, checked to make sure it was amniotic fluid leaking (it was), and then checked to see if she was dilated. She was totally closed at the dr on Thursday, so I totally expected to hear that she was barely dilated, and I was sure that I misheard the dr when she said that V was 4cm. Wait, did she say 4?? Yep. Shortly thereafter we went over to L&D, and the nurse (an awesome Jersey girl, and IVF mom of twins) said she thought the babies would be here by lunch. By 11am, she still hadn’t dilated past 4, so that’s when they start Pit. They started at 2, then 4, then 6, then 8 (I don’t know the units) … they were up to 20 when they said they couldn’t go further without putting a different kind of monitor inside her. She was having contractions, but they weren’t strong enough to do much. I got a little sleep in during the day, and I ran out a few times. At one point, I walked to CVS and picked up a few things, and my total came to $7.77. The lady said, “wow, I think it’s your lucky day.” And I agreed!

So, they kept upping the Pit, and somewhere around 7pm (I think), the nurses changed shifts, and while I was out in the hallway, I saw the lesbian nurse. She came in a few minutes later, and we had that awkward period where she knows we’re gay, we know she’s gay, but no one wants to say it first. That passed quickly, and we chatted for a long time about her partner and son. She completely took us under her wing and worked really really hard to help V, getting her up moving around, advocating for V to deliver in the delivery room, rather than the OR, upping the Pit a little more than she was even supposed to. Either the moving around or the super dose of Pit (it was 38 at that point) did the trick, and finally she started having better contractions. I should say that she dilated to 5 and wasn’t in even the slightest bit of pain until maybe 9 or 10pm, when the contractions came fast and furious. V went to the bathroom (she was terrified of pooing on the table) and she just started shaking furiously. The contractions were so hard at that point, and she looked terrible. The nurse quickly got the anesthesiologist, who evidently gave her the world’s greatest epidural, so she was only in pain for about 15 minutes. The anesthesiologist told her that the first part was going to hurt a little, and V said something so funny that made the dr, the nurse, and me crack up, but I cannot remember now what it was. I wish I could remember.

Also during this time, our lesbian nurse saw that in the pile of paperwork they had dropped off, they had left a souvenir birth certificate that said, “Mother” and “Father.” She was so annoyed and said, “don’t worry, I’ll fix this” and she found us other ones that didn’t have “Father” on it.

So maybe an hour later, the nurse came in to drain V’s bladder, and she said, “wow, this girl’s head is right here.” The head was maybe an inch from coming out. They got the OR ready, I got dressed up in scrubs, and we watched the Yankees/ Sox game until they were ready to take us in.

We got into the OR about midnight, and I counted the people in the room. I know there were at least 9 or 10, but it was hard to know for sure b/c some people were moving from the OR into the next room, where they clean and weigh the babies. I have no idea who all those people were, aside from the dr, nurse, and a resident. Pediatricians, I assume, and other nurses? Dunno. Our nurse had her hand on V’s uterus and watched the monitor, and told her when to push. I think they may have turned down the Pit at some point, so that she could feel when to push. She wasn’t in any pain, just getting tired from the pushing, and since the contractions were so close together, she wasn’t getting much rest between them. The nurse and I each held one of her legs up, and the nurse was a great coach (much better than me). I was trying to be supportive, but the nurse and the dr were telling her when her pushes were effective, and when she needed to do something different, so I just kept feeling like what they told her was more helpful than what I would tell her. Also, I kept peeking over to see what was going on. I’m so glad the nurse knew what to say, when to say it, b/c I never felt like I did.

Another nurse (or doctor? I’m not sure who she was) had me come around to see the girl crowning, and it was just unreal. Her head looked so tiny. I kept thinking, “it’s too small, her head is too small, this isn’t right.” It was fine, of course, I just couldn’t believe that an actual infant head could come out of there. At one point when her head really started to come out, the nurse took V’s hand and put it on the girl’s head. V’s reaction, true to form, was not euphoria at feeling her daughter. Instead, she yelled, “oh my God, my lab.ia is HUGE!” We all laughed and told her she was concentrating on the wrong thing. It took awhile from there for her to come out – 15 minutes maybe? Hard to say. But the doctor yelled at her to give a big push, and out came her head. I think the dr just pulled the rest of her out, I don’t think V had to push. She was born at 1:05, after just under an hour of pushing.

I followed as they took the little girl into the other room. They cleaned her off, I cut her umbilical cord down closer to the clip they had on it. I remember not being sure if I could touch her or not. I assumed that it would take awhile for the boy to engage in the pelvis and then get far enough down, so I was totally in my own little world in that room. Then I could hear the doctors and nurses in OR yelling at me. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but it was clear that they wanted me back in there. I think I remember hearing someone say something about my son.

I ran back into the OR and I saw that the dr’s arm was waaaay up inside V, like up to the middle of his forearm. I assumed that he was turning the boy, or maybe bringing him down to engage his head into the pelvis or something, and a minute later, the doctor pulled his arm out, and I saw two feet between his fingers. He was pulling the boy out by the feet! I saw feet, then legs, then stomach, and he turned him twice to get his arms out, and then he asked V to push his head out.

As soon as the little guy came out, he was all limp and blue and not responding. And I freaked out. They quickly cut his cord and rushed him into the next room, and as I was following him into the next room, I stupidly looked at V and gave her a look that said something was wrong. As soon as I did it, I was super pissed at myself for worrying her when she still had business to do on the table. I really regretted worrying her. She told me later that she already saw him, so my look didn’t tell her anything she didn’t know. I followed the boy into the next room, and there were three nurses/ doctors around him and I couldn’t see a thing. I kept trying to see, but I just couldn’t catch a glimpse of anything. A nurse called me over to look at the girl, and I know that she was just trying to refocus my attention, but all I could think about was how blue the boy was. I asked the nurse if he was going to be okay. Then, what must have been just a few seconds later, I heard him give a good, strong cry, and I knew that he was okay. The whole thing, from when he came out to when he cried, couldn’t have been more than 60 seconds, but it felt like an eternity.

All the doctors and nurses told us that when babies come out like that, rather than being pushed out, they aren’t responding. I don’t think I believe it, though. I think they were trying to make us feel better. I vaguely heard one nurse tell another the apgar scores. I had thought that I would be very interested in hearing them, but I had babies in my arms and I just didn’t care.

They weighed them, got their footprints, wrapped them up, and took them back into the OR. V held them both while the resident was still stitching her up (2nd degree tear, but they said that was just a run of the mill singleton tear, so not bad considering). Then I took the boy and our nurse took the photo that I posted.

We went into recovery, I called the grandmothers, and V breastfed the babies. The nurse took the babies up to the nursery, V ate a sandwich (the first thing she had eaten since Saturday night, other than the pieces of soft pretzel I had slipped her). I guess we were in recovery an hour or so (?), and our nurse came down and told us that we had luck on our side b/c we got the last private room in maternity (OMG, thank goodness). We went up to our room, and as they were wheeling V into the room, I ran over to the nursery and watched our girl get her first bath. A few minutes later they brought the babies in (I’m guessing it was around 3 or 4 am at that point) and I believe we each took a baby and then took a nap. I had a chair that pulled out into a bed, and I think I had our boy. It was so awesome to sleep next to him. That first day, Monday, they were pretty sleepy, and although she kept trying to BF them, I don’t think much was happening.

The next day, Tuesday, was a bit more challenging b/c they were having some trouble latching. The lactation consultants at the hospital were awesome (one taught me skin-to-skin or kangaroo and I loooove it. The babies do, too) and they really helped us a lot. I already mentioned that we got into a really good routine, and we kept them w/ us the whole time to help facilitate that.

We came home Wednesday, and all has been going really well. The little guy had a couple of days where he just would not stay on, but he’s been much better today.

Anyway, the hospital was really great. We are so grateful to everyone there, especially the attending OB. Everyone kept telling us that there are only two doctors in the whole hospital who would’ve been willing to let her deliver vaginally, especially once the boy turned. They all told us that had the babies come the weekend prior, she would’ve had a c-section for sure. So hurray for our girl’s great timing!

Week old babies

2010-10-04T11:52:00.000-07:00

I can't begin to believe that our babies are a week old. I am working on the birth story, but it is loooong (I'm writing down all the details I can remember, so we don't forget).

These guys are awesome. They are almost never fussy, are champion eaters, and are so perfect in every way. They are so different, too, and just like they were in utero. He is cool as a cucumber, she's a little sassy. Even though I have their faces memorized, every time I see them, I'm stunned at how gorgeous they are.

We got into a really good routine at the hospital. She would feed baby 1. Then I would supplement and change baby 1 while she fed baby 2. Then I would supplement and change baby 2 while she pumped. It worked really well. Then by about Thursday, she got the hang on tandem feeding, and now I supplement and change them while she's pumping. So that saves some time.

They're getting breast milk about 95% of the time, with a little formula now and then just to top off the breast milk (totally fine w/ us, we have no problem w/ them getting some formula). She feeds til they're done (and she's mostly drained), then pumps to keep the supply up. What she gets out is just about enough to supplement after the next feeding.

They're feeding about every 3 hours, and we're having to wake them to feed. Our pediatrician is fine w/ us letting them get more sleep at night, though, so they sleep 4 or more hours at night, they wake up to feed, then sleep again for another 4 or so hours. That means we're getting a good amount of sleep, too. During the day we try to feed them more often, so they sleep longer at night.

Our girl was just slightly jaundiced at the hospital, so the ped checked it a few days after we got home, and she was fine. So no worries there.

We are very busy. The babies take most of the day, of course, and while they sleep all the time, it seems like there are a million more errands to do (mostly washing bottles and nipples, it seems). Our friends and neighbors are awesome. I swear we live on the friendliest street in all of Philly. Neighbors we don't even know have brought us food, and a twin mom around the corner who I've met once brought us a giant grocery bag of things (along w/ a note w/ her phone number that said, "call us - I mean it - if you need anything"). So far we've gotten a quiche, baked mac and cheese, a whole chicken and potatoes, a frozen lasagne, Chinese take out, the big bag of groceries, and tonight V's boss's wife is bringing over something. So, so nice.

Anyway, birth story in progress. It's time to feed babies again. In the meantime, I leave you w/ a photo of the babies laying on our cat.

Make that 36w, 5d

2010-09-29T18:41:00.000-07:00

I can't wait to tell you all the whole story and there's so much to tell [the great L&D nurse (also a lesbian mom) who devoted her entire night to helping V, the awesome attending doc who let her deliver vaginally, then reached up inside her to pull the boy out by the feet when he turned, etc etc].

Girl: Sept 27 1:05am 18.5 inches 5lbs, 6 oz
Boy: Sept 27 1:12am 19 inches 5lbs, 8 oz

First family photo (in the OR):

An hour or so old:

At home in the crib (and trying to make their names ungooglable):

We're all home and doing well - no NICU time and they're doing really well latching! More soon...

36w, 4d

2010-09-26T06:56:00.000-07:00

water broke at 3:00am. got to the hospital at 5 and she was 4cm dilated. she had felt some contractions but had felt no pain so we were very surprised! still contracting, still no pain. yeah! waiting to get checked again in half hour. so it looks like we're having babies.

ps- car seats still arent in! that was my plan for today!